I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
