i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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