If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
zippers are such a cool invention
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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