weddingsv make me drug and hornr
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
