i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
