At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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