It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
