Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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