Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
