He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
