he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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