My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
