i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
