I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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