I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
