my vag is so smooth its legendary
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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