Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
