Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
