i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
