The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
