Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
