I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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