I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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