Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
