This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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