I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You smell like stripper and shame
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
