Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
how drunk are you?
Several
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
