Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize