i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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