We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
