you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
