You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
