You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
