I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
