god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
