There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
