Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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