i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
