"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
