our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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