Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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