Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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