I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Two words: blizzard sex
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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