were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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