I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
