i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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