i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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