i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
