Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize