I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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