I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize