so that wasnt chicken after all
I just cut my nipple shaving
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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