I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
