No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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