4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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