I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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