she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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