Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
